3 replies, 2 voices Last updated by Jonny 1 year ago
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    • #4566

      Israel Tipa
      Student
      @Isra1994

      In your English class you have been talking about friendship in modern society. Now your English teacher has asked you to write an essay.

       

      Write an essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view.

       

      Nowadays, some people make friends online that they never meet. How do these friendships compare to those friends we see face to face?

       

      Notes:

       

      Write about:

       

      1. what you talk about
      2. doing things together
      3. ……………………………………… (your own idea)

       

      We can all agree that relationships between people are not as they were before. Nowadays, individuals all over the world are able to get in touch with others on the internet straightaway without the need to know each other.However, is it the best way to build up a friendship?

      Firstly, both online and face to face interactions are totally different. On the one hand face to face relationships create a trustworthy space where there are an endless variety of topics to talk about, such as feelings or emotions, but on the other hand online interactions are limited by meaningless conversations.

      Secondly, if an individual has online friends, it is more likely that they never meet each other. It means, they are not meant to carry out something together. In contrast to this, meeting people who are close allows a person to build up and strengthen a friendship at ease

      Finally, online interactions could make us idealize someone who might be not what they claim to be.However, meeting someone face to face gives us a perception about what they look like or what they are like.

      To sum up, social interactions should be done face to face in order to develop deeper relationships than online interactions.

    • #4602

      Jonny
      Teacher
      @Jonny

      We can all agree that relationships between people are not as they were before. Nowadays, individuals all over the world are able to get in touch with others on the internet straightaway without the need to know each other. However, is it the best way to build up a friendship?

      Firstly, both online and face to face interactions are totally different. On the one hand, face to face relationships create a trustworthy space where there IS an endless variety of topics to talk about, such as feelings or emotions, but on the other hand, online interactions are limited by meaningless conversations.

      Secondly, if an individual has online friends, it is more likely that they never meet each other. It means, they are not meant to carry out something together. In contrast to this, meeting people who are close allows a person to build up and strengthen a friendship at ease

      Finally, online interactions could make us idealize someone who might be not what they claim to be.However, meeting someone face to face gives us a perception about what they look like or what they are like.

      To sum up, social interactions should be done face to face in order to develop deeper relationships than online interactions.


      I suggest you use “firstly” and “secondly” to present a hypothesis that you should give in the intro.

      I think you have overused some linking words which makes it hard to follow your overall meaning

      Otherwise, the language is good and well written, good range of vocab.

      (☕ Want to buy me a coffee?)

    • #4681

      Israel Tipa
      Student
      @Isra1994

      THANK YOU FOR YOR FEEDBACK!

    • #4682

      Jonny
      Teacher
      @Jonny

      🙌🙌🙌

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